Chuckwagon Ho!

Progress as promised, I’m sure you’ve seen this on many a I-DOT or MO-DOT construction site which usually leads an improved highway system even if it does take forever. In one particular case I say Progress? BAH HUMBUG! A little piece of my hometown is going away due to this progress, it won’t cease to exist but it will be relocating a few blocks. When you live in small town you take things for granted that they always be there for you. I know some of you don’t understand this method of thinking and prefer to live places like New York the city that never sleeps. You can walk anywhere you want to go and likely find great food or a party still going or just getting started at 4 am. While I understand this, I must say that not everyone is wired that way. I take great comfort in my small town, it’s traditions, it’s strange landmarks like the world’s largest Catsup Bottle which make me feel comfortable, safe and at home. During my years at college in Carbondale upon the drive home for breaks it wasn’t the Catsup bottle that signaled that I was truly home even though I drove right past it every time but the sight of the electric flashing message board on the side of the UMBank. When I saw that I knew I had made the trip safely home again as its flashed Kahoks basketball fundraisers and other noteworthy local events along with the time and temperature. Then slightly behind the bank and another turn was made to the familiar site of the A frame building that was home to the subject of this blog that of Bert’s Chuck Wagon restaurant. Unfortunately that electric flashing sign has been gone for awhile and I’ve gotten used to that now but due to said highway progress both the bank and that A frame the housed such good food will now be gone too.

It is not like this was a surprise the widening of route 159 from two to four lanes both ways from Belleville to Edwardsville has been worked upon and talked about for some time now. Still things have a way of sneaking up on you and are suddenly over before you know it. This Saturday will be Bert’s last full menu day at that the A-Frame location. There is also a Sunday Tacos only party that promises Roger the owner in a dunk tank. Fear not, this is not the end since they are relocating a few blocks over in the old Gliks building that Roger and his family has spent considerable time remodeling. They have taken the rundown eyesore and turned into something that down town Collinsville can be proud. The funny part about this story is I can’t remember the first time I ate at Chuck Wagon but I have been back many time since then and had a great time and good food on almost every visit. I am sure that part of that comes from the owner Roger who everyone knows and is friendly, quick with a joke or a prank. Some his April Fool’s jokes have become legendary which we will get to in a bit later.

Although many people know Roger and am I sure they do better than I do, I feel I know him as well as most if not better in certain areas. I by no means claim to best friends or anything but I have come to know him in a way some may not. Roger and I share a love of comic books that this blog mainly focuses on. It is through this common interest that I became better acquainted with him. While I am not sure when I first began eating at Bert’s, I am sure that it had to with it’s proximity to my local comic store Twilight Comics. After the sale of it to Brian Hilliard and his employment of Tim Rank and Brent Murphy all who were closer to my age although younger than me, I began to strike up more conversations with the employees there and they all soon became friends. Later my best friend Tim Waters began to work there that further solidified the friendships. The back room at bert's. Ususally busier than this.This lead to more time being spent in the store and eventually to food runs to the near by Bert’s Chuck Wagon. The shop was still at mid block on main street which is very close to the new location so it was a little bit of a trek but not far. Things would generally go something like this, we would all make our orders and I would go since I wasn’t employed there with another person most of the time one of the Tims either Rank or Waters. The extra help was needed to carry it back since it was usually for at least 4 to 5 people. Other times since Roger was a customer there also, a call would be made at a time convenient for him to leave and he would bring the food and drop it off in exchange for this week’s comics. I’m not sure how it was worked out between Brian and Roger but on more than one occasion Roger would arrive with food and leave with a stack of comics. A better deal you won’t find if you have had Roger’s food.

The view from down the street at Twilight ComicsIt was then when I began to know him better and he became more than a face behind the counter to me. I learned that he loved the character of the Silver Surfer along with Spiderman and Batman. Roger is also a big movie fan although I know he doesn’t get to see them as much as he’d like because of the business of running the Chuck Wagon and various other reasons. Often to this day if he is not too busy behind the counter cooking his first question upon seeing Tim Waters and I come in is “have you seen this new movie yet?” If you really want to lose a half an hour of your life tell him “You haven’t seen Avatar yet” (even if you have). One of my fondest memories of the old A frame involves movies, Tim Waters knew that Roger really wanted to see one the Star Wars prequels opening Night (I can’t remember which one). Due to a promotion deal Brian had with the O’Fallon theatre, he was able to get us free passes to the show, which we shared with Roger. We all excitedly attended which ever Star Wars movie it was (episode 2 I think) and were of course disappointed since none of the prequels were that great. Roger of course loved it and was so grateful he took us back to Bert’s after hours and cooked up some food for us. This was more than generous since that included myself, Tim, John, my friend Kelly and her husband Ron. We certainly got more food than one free movie ticket was worth even at the ten dollars or so they charge now. That’s just the kind of guy Roger is.

I believe Bert’s Chuck Wagon became even more a part of my life when the Twilight comics moved down the street to the 300 East Main location. Brian decided to open a second store in his hometown of Belleville taking Brent with him to help run the new location. This left both Tims in charge of the Collinsville location that also lead to Saturday afternoon being Magic the Gathering day. Many a duel of Magic was played at Twilight in Collinsville, which often developed in multi player games of four or five people. Whether it was fighting off Ken Van Wieren’s horde of endless Goblins from his red deck, John Schwartz’s uncanny ability to pull the one Nightmare out of his 150 card black deck when he needed it, the threat of Tim Rank’s Khabal Ghoul deck, or the sheer agony of Tim Water’s patented Black Vice deck killing you with your own cards. To be sure fun was had by all, and I even held my own with my Blue decks that consisted of a lot of flying creatures and of course my favorite artifact creature the Dragon Engine that could be pumped up to larger sizes to attack depending on the available mana. I remember one particular agonizing game when Tim Rank low on life points stole my Dragon Engine with a control magic and beat to death with my own weapon. Needless to say duels like that required sustenance that was now only a block away and quickly became a vital part of the Saturday Magic the Gathering experience. The walk down the block to Bert’s for lunch was a welcome break from the loss of a magic duel.

What choices were to be had for a hungry but beaten Magic player? Everything you could want. Whether it be the Texas Double Cheeseburger, the three Bar-B-Cue juniors for $3.50, or the Super Mexican Dinner that is more food than should be allowable by law all for about six bucks (see the photo). the super mexicn dinnerWe all had our favorite menu item mine being the Super Mex; Tim Rank converted me to the Deep Fired Burrito, which he liked to get with extra deep fry (whatever that means but Roger would do it). Tim Rank swears he could order it and drive from Collinsville to Belleville and it would still be hot when he arrived home. Tim Waters is fond of the Saturday only Bar-B-Cued Chicken. Roger would even do things that are not on the menu anymore like the double decker taco and Brian’s wife Shannon’s favorite the flour tortilla nachos instead of the usually corn tortillas. Whatever your order it must be accompanied by Steak Fries so those with you can mooch a couple with promise of payback at later date. I believe the total steak fries that Waters owes Rank to be in the thousands. Those steak fries and a cup of Catsup finishes off any meal, I even order them sometimes with the Super Mex. There is a reason I weigh the jumbo cokethis much. Finally it must be washed down with the Jumbo Coke. At least that’s what I call it, it says extra large on the display cups but somewhere along the way I changed it to the Jumbo and would order it that way. It was a sad day when after I was diagnosed with diabetes that I realized I had to now add the word “diet” to the phase “and a Jumbo Coke”

Bert’s has become a landmark in Collinsville, as have Roger’s April fools jokes that he works on all year to get ready for on the 1st and somehow people still fall for them. My favorite was the year when he roped off the entrance to the Chuck Wagon with construction orange cones and marker and changed the familiar special yellow menu board on the outside to say “Due to mine subsidence only six customers allowed in the store at a time.” One year Roger had the sign say (on April Fool’s Day) they were closing and people still thought it was true months later. Roger related a story to me of a little boy who called the store and asked for Roger around six months later. Upon answering the phone the little boy asked, “my teacher says you are closed, is this true? Roger told the little boy that his teacher was wrong and you can tell her that” much to the delight of the giggling school child. However not everybody has had a good a sense of humor about Roger’s gags. This year the sign read, “I-Dot has changed its mind WE ARE STAYING.” Steak Fries and Onion Rings with a side of high cholesterolI-Dot got so many calls questioning this they sent a man to investigate the sign. Upon walking in the man from I-Dot asked “What’s the deal with the sign?” To which Roger replied, “What day is it?” (April 1st). The man laughed but called his superiors to which they were not amused and made him take the sign down. Later in the day someone higher up from I-Dot with a sense of humor called and said it was okay to leave the sign up but my then the gag had been removed.

I don’t really blame I-Dot for the removal of that familiar A-frame because actually it is doing Roger a favor since the building had been constructed on an old gas station site that need to be environmentally cleaned up which made the land impossible to sell due to the expense of cleaning needed. I will miss seeing the A-frame and the yellow sign that promoted so many specials on Super Mexican dinners and April fool’s gags. I suppose I will get used to it not being there like the electronic sign on the bank but it will take time to get comfortable with a new path though town. At least Bert’s will still be down the street to ease the pain. I guess that is part of living in a small town; you expect things to always be there until they are not. Fortunately I-Dot can’t make my memories of good times and good food move. Thanks heavens for that.

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Comments

[Joel Conner]

Great blog...thank you so much for taking the time to write that and share it with us all. The support that everyone had shown means so much to our entire family.

Joel

[Mike Wendler]

Thanks Joel that means I lot. Your dad is a great guy.

[Stars]

Really thoughtful and cool. Roger sounds like a warm, friendly and down to Earth guy, something you don't see alot nowadays. Relish the memories but eat the Super Mex!

[Kelly]

I'm so thankful that you introduced Ron and I to Roger and the Chuckwagon!
Progress can't stop something that good. I can't wait to try out the new Chuckwagon...